daddy was on the phone

telling me that I could make it through the semester that I would survive the withdrawal that I could handle 12, 8, 6 more weeks of torture that if I finished the semester I would have an easier time finding a job an easier time transferring colleges he saw klonopin withdrawal in residency and, because […]

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to be

lynched by your own humanity gutted by the hands of human kindness and split open for the world to devour your innards is the only thing you think you will not be able to survive but when you do come to and the light shines directly into your eyes and you’re crying back tears not […]

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When I was in the 5th grade

the only friend I had was my pet senegal parrot, Kayah. I would come home from school and she would be eager to see me. I went everywhere with her. She was my confidant and companion. Most importantly, she made me feel loved and appreciated. during a time in my life when I was regularly […]

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when you crave misery and chaos and even crisis because at least is preoccupies your brain when you bored, sometimes you look forward to the other shoe dropping or maybe its the faintest sign of depression. maybe it’s just complacency even if youre doing everything right maybe its the anxiety of something new pleasent, forgiving, […]

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when your experiences

and burdens and sorrows and trials and tribulations come in handy there’s this strange moment of reconciliation. It wasn’t all for nought. One day your pain will be useful to you, they say. And maybe it’s that I can help others when the pain is overwhelming. It’s as if I am actually grateful for the […]

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support vs. rescuing

today I was tempted to rescue someone. But I didn’t. I want to save them from their misery and suffering but I could already foresee what would happen to me, emotionally, if I got involved. I would be anxious and tired and overwhelmed by someone else’s problems…and knowing this person, I wouldn’t be able to […]

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