I tried to fight the inevitable. The ineffable. The miserable. The twisted and bemused. The beguiling and erratic. And yet…
Everything is easier if I accept what this is.
I was absolutely determined to rid you from my cerebral existence. Resist every temptation to engage in thought foreplay and pretend that we had something to look forward to.
I was so determined to rid you from my world. Yet my subconscious wouldn’t let you go. No matter the toil, the labile, the hurting and haunting, my psyche clings to you like a god.
Well maybe not that hyperbolic.
Yet still. I find that maybe the best creative pieces I have exploited are due to your cryptic, tedious and succulent engagement that I just will have to accept this is what you are to me.
A caustic tease? Yes. A devilish lover? Of course.
But also the only one who can make me feel so holy alive that I must not fight you anymore.
You’re apart of me now. Even if this is not your typical amorous connection. You’re the genie I call upon when I need tangible proof of humanity. You are, the most hurtful and beautiful part of my day. And I can’t change that.