I know I’m a bit capricious and hyperbolic but these words won’t leave my head. Don’t worry it’s not a love letter. God, like I would do such a thing.
Ive just been really concerned as to why I keep acting like such a child around you…. because I’m usually supremely awesome and not at all a crazed wombat. And it hit me. You remind me of 6th grade. And my friend at the time–who helped me survive. See I was literally the most hated person in middle school after standing up to a bully/popular girl/bull shit cyber group message smack down and received everything from death threats to physical assaults and the works…and then one popular person managed to be my friend but only on AIM and it was the strangest and weirdest thing and it did a number on my self esteem. Since they would be my confidant online but sneer at me along with my tormentors…
So anyways, you remind me of that friend. You’re pretty, popular and you used to hang out with Zak **** who was one of the people who has been making my life just a little shittier since he transferred to my school in the 4th grade.
The friend was Desmond **** We bonded over our dysfunctional families and the Detroit Pistons. I think he might have talked to me three times at school…but everyday we talked for hours on end after school. Strange.
Anyways, that’s my story. If you read it, I hope it made sense. I hope that these strange long shot associations might make sense to you because my brain does weird tricks but once I figure out why I do what I do I usually can rewire my neuropaths and stop being an obnoxious beast.
I think because you reminded my of 6th grade, I get simultaneously anxious and insecure, eager to know were friends and your not going to hate me or betray me or some sort of middle school nonsense… So, just a heads up. You might just need to say this once an a while–if you want to continue being on speaking and or friendly terms with me–“it’s ok, we’re cool” or whatever suits your needs.
I’m going to try to sleep now. night
Goldie, we’re cool but I’m not at all in a place to be handling someone elses anxiety. I’m dealing choosing my new job, working, this girl I’ve been sleeping with is 7 weeks late and had a positive test, just fucking issues everywhere. I do not want a supportive friend to lean on right now so please don’t try to be, I have enough as it is and I don’t want to think about it more often than I have to. So plz. just chill out dude. I’m v down to be cool with u, but when I get like 10 texts a day I just turn your alerts off cause it’s annoying af