because I’m the mom.
I won’t expect you to connect with me,
to hear what I say
to comfort and console me.
Because you have never been able to do that.
And I used to dismiss your inabilities due to your own traumatic history…
but that doesn’t mean I have to keep running back to the woman who makes me feel unloveable.
You birthed me.
Thank you for that.
But ever since then, you have made me the parent. I had to soothe you. Calm you. Listen to you confide in me horrible, terrible things.
I was your parent, your friend, your therapist.
I was never your daughter.
I never got to have a childhood because of the negligence–so why should I call you my mom?
I dont owe you anything. I know you love and support me. But each time we interact I find myself only experiencing pain and suffering.
Why keep repeating the same patterns expecting a different outcome?