I wont call you mom

because I’m the mom.

I won’t expect you to connect with me,

to understand

to hear what I say

to comfort and console me.

Because you have never been able to do that.

And I used to dismiss your inabilities due to your own traumatic history…

but that doesn’t mean I have to keep running back to the woman who makes me feel unloveable.

Misunderstood.

You birthed me.

Thank you for that.

But ever since then, you have made me the parent. I had to soothe you. Calm you. Listen to you confide in me horrible, terrible things.

I was your parent, your friend, your therapist.

I was never your daughter.

I never got to have a childhood because of the negligence–so why should I call you my mom?

I dont owe you anything. I know you love and support me. But each time we interact I find myself only experiencing pain and suffering.

Why keep repeating the same patterns expecting a different outcome?

 

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