telling me that I could make it through the semester
that I would survive the withdrawal
that I could handle 12, 8, 6 more weeks of torture
that if I finished the semester I would have an easier time finding a job
an easier time transferring colleges
he saw klonopin withdrawal in residency
and, because I was under the care of my psychiatrist who specialized in addiction, I would survive
I would not die
I would not need rehab
and I longed for rehab
but not the kind our insurance would cover
I wanted the fancy rehab at a nice place with spas and 5 star cuisine
no, apparently my rehab would be titrating klonopin in a bed on a psych ward near by and would probably due more harm than good
he believed in me. he had to. that I could finish the semester while detoxing.
he also believed that I was wronged by my university
abused and taken advantage of by a school that made us take out a second mortage
he took out a second mortgage and in return I was raped
he believed in me though
and for that, I am grateful.
He told me that I could do it and I did. And he supported me.
He still supports me.
For all his faults as a parent, a person, a dad…
he helped me when I needed it most.
and for that I am grateful